Madness, He Wrote
by FreakyArtist
Summary: Shu's hosting the party of the year and before it could kick off Yuan Shao's found dead in the guest chamber. Who could have done it? and why? That's what Detective Lu Bu is here to find out. Could he crack the case, before they crack him? Don't own DW!
1. Getting There

A rather tall and broad man shot out of the darkness as he galloped on his heavy armoured horse. His royal, blue cape fluttered in the wind and his long, black, pigtails glistened in the moonlight. Words roamed aimlessly in his mind. _Murdered, _it kept saying. _Murdered_. His jaw clenched as he aimed to reach his destination- Bai Di Castle.

Two heavy knocks were placed on the castle door, to which a small maid hurriedly attended to. "Who is it?" the young woman asked. "It is I – Detective Lu Bu, here to investigate the case of Yuan Shao's Death." Almost immediately the doors flung open, to welcome in the muscular man. "Oh, thank goodness you're here," the young maid said, as she locked the castle doors. She then turned around to face Lu Bu, "I received your message, about not letting anyone leave the castle. They are all present in the Ballroom. If you care to…" Lu Bu gave a slight nod and let the maid lead him to Ballroom.

Silence echoed wall to wall in the Ballroom. No-one dared to breathe. No-one dared to move. All eyes were fixed on the detective, as he slowly worked his way across the room. Lu Bu stopped dead at the centre and looked around to inspect the faces that starred back at him. "Are all that are present, here when the death of Yuan Shao was discovered?" Lu Bu asked, breaking the silence. All slowly nodded, making sure no sound escaped their lips. "Good," Lu Bu continued, "you all shall remain here till the murder is caught- and I assure you- HE WILL BE CUAGHT!"

"How can you be sure it's a "HE" and not a "SHE"?" a young, spirited voice shot out from the crowd. Everyone turned to the far left corner, to see the moron who spoke out. A young woman, who wore a complete, set of red- a sleeveless top, a pair of crop pants and a bandana, to keep her short red hair out the way of her eyes. She stood there with her arms crossed. "Well!" she continued, "or do you think; only men can kill? I –"

"Lady!!" Lu Bu interrupted. "Are you suggesting that you caused Yuan Shao's death?"

"..err- no..." she looked blankly back at him.

"Then why on earth, are you getting worked up over the killer being a man?"

"Because, I'm sick of men thinking women can't cause death! We women are more than capable of causing deaths!!"

"I'm aware of that-"

"Then why did you say, "HE WILL BE CUAGHT!" why not: "SHE will be caught"?

"BECAUSE, then there would have been an idiot saying that men could have done it too..."

"Then here's an idea- say "HE or SHE". You can't possibly go wrong there!!"

"WOMEN! IS THERE A POINT?!?!"

"YES!! I'm saying us women have the right to be accused as well!"

At that point, silence took over again. Lu Bu stood there, frustrated. 'Blithering idiot,' he thought to himself, 'she can't possibly be serious. I'll kill that little- no, no. Lu Bu, you mustn't let that brat get to you.' Lu Bu let out a heavy sigh. "Fine, you win. "HE or SHE will be caught". For now you all may return to your rooms and rest. I'll see you all in the morning." With that everyone sighed in relief and left without a word. However, the lady in red stood there, with her arms still crossed. "What's your name?" Lu Bu asked her. The woman starred at him, unsure whether or not to tell him, her name. Finally she replied, "Sun Shang Xiang". Lu Bu smiled to himself, 'ah, so she is Sun Ce's sister. That explains her stupidity.'

Lu Bu began walking towards the door and then stopped. He looked back at Shang Xiang, not sure if she would accept his next words. "I'm keeping my eye on you," Lu Bu warned her. Shang's eyes beamed wide open, "I don't like to be falsely accused." A confused look appeared on Lu Bu's face, "I thought you said women have the right to be accused?"

"'Right to be' and 'like to be' are two different things". Lu Bu rolled his eyes at her response and left. 'What was wrong with a nice, quite night in?' he thought.


	2. Feel Loved

**A/N: **Okay, first off, I'd like to apologize for not putting in an A/N, in the previous chapter. It's just I totally forgot to and felt like a right dimwit, when I noticed my mistake later on. Anyway, I've put it on now, and hopefully remember to do it ALWAYS! Oh yeah, also **I don't own Dynasty Warriors**…but then, you knew that…duhh!! I hope the last chapter wasn't too much of a bore, and did I manage to fit Shang's character right? I always saw her as a "vote for women" kind of girl…did I show that? Okay, well don't want to keep you…

It was 10 past 9 and everyone was seated in the mess hall. To Lu Bu surprise, everyone was lively compared to last night. He seated himself near the east exist of the hall and began eating his toast, that the pretty maid handed him. He hadn't noticed before but now that he had a good look at her, he realised that she's much beautiful then the other maids he had seen.

"Oh! Detective Lu Bu!" Lu Bu took a bite and calmly looked over his shoulder, only to see a tall, slender woman with long, black hair, rushing towards him. She came and sat herself quickly next to Lu Bu, flashing her brilliantly, white teeth. "It's such a pleasure to meet you," she spoke in a posh manner, which managed well with her silken voice. "You know," she continued, "I've read every one of your case stories and your book: 'I Don't Support Crime- I Kill It'." Lu Bu carried on eating his breakfast, unmoved by the lady's fascination in him. Why should he be? She wasn't the first to announce this to him, and definitely wouldn't be the last. He was; of course, know across the whole of China, so why wouldn't she adore him. "I practically know everything about you," she went on. "Your favourite colours red, when you were nine, your mother forced you to join the local choir and that you had a favourite blanket, that you carried around till the age of 14 AND you named it "Tiddles"! Believe me- I AM YOUR NO.1 FAN!!!" Lu Bu rolled his eyes, annoyed with the fact that she knew these things. "And?" Lu Bu asked finally, finishing off his last slice. "Well…" the woman started, now slightly blushing, "I, uhh…wanted you to sign my copy of your book. Would you please?" Lu Bu let out a heavy sigh and wiped his hands on the table napkins. "Pen?" he asked. The lady promptly gave him a pink, fluffy pen with the book. "Who am I writing this to?" Lu Bu asked in a monotone, clearly indicating he wasn't interested. "Zhang He," was the lady's answer. Lu Bu stopped. Confused. "Zhang He?!" Lu Bu repeated, sounding shocked. Zhang He nodded. Lu Bu starred back at him hard, thinking of what to say next, without sounding too offensive. "Nice name," Lu Bu mumbled at last, choosing not to let the awkward situation get any worse, then quickly wrote a simple message in the book and returned it back. "Thanks!!" Zhang He squealed, hugging Lu Bu- obviously, letting the excitement get the best of him. He quickly got back up, grinning more than ever, "I simply just can't wait to tell all my friends! See you around Detective Lu Bu!" Lu Bu watched as the excited "she" man skipped away, leaving him mentally screaming to himself, _'I can't believe I got hugged…BY A MAN!!'_

"Walla! What do you think?" Zhen Ji gave a little twirl, showing off the frills of her lilac skirt. She stopped and faced her husband, who sat there with his nose in a book. "Darling," Zhen Ji moaned, as she tried raising his head with her hand. Yuan Xi however, didn't move a muscle. She then sat herself next to him and tilted the book upright, to have a better look at its name. "Grieving Over Death: For Dummies," she read out, "oh, Xi honey. You're not still upset about your daddy's death are you?" Yuan Xi looked sharply at her, ready to blow his fuse but then stopped himself. He knew Zhen Ji wasn't the brightest of women and had a memory of a goldfish. So, getting mad at her would be know use; she would either forget what he's on about, or simply not understand the point. "Don't matter," he said, "let's go get something to eat."

The mess was rather packed, Yuan Xi noted, as he and Zhen had entered. After squeezing in through the door way, he looked around for empty seats but much to his disappointment, the only ones available were the ones next to Cao Pi. Yuan Xi never really liked Cao Pi, it was probably because of the lack of personality, the "don't Care" attitude, the very fact that Cao Pi was an emo. Worst of all, he hated him because women actually LIKED him….especially his wife!

"Come on," he grabbed Zhen's arm, "we might have better luck finding seats on the other side." As he began to move, he felt Zhen take her arm away. "Look Xi," Zhen said eagerly, "there, next to Cao Pi. There's space!" and with that she ran off. Yuan Xi rolled his eyes and reluctantly followed. _'This,'_ he thought, _'is going to be a bad day.'_

Cao Pi sat there quietly, listening to Zhen Ji go on about herself, when he noticed Yuan Xi coming towards him and seating himself next to Zhen. **(A/N: OMG! I wonder if any of you noticed how "Pi", "Ji" and "Xi" all rhyme!! Amazing isn't it! Any-hoo…back to the story!)** He smiled to himself. He knew Xi couldn't stand it when Zhen gave him all the attention and the sour look on Xi's face now, was priceless. Pi never liked Xi either. He found him as an annoying, goodie-two-shoes, that thought fun was sucking your thumb, whilst your dad read you bedtime stories. Pathetic. That's what he was, pathetic. The whole Yuan family, were pathetic.

"…and I would have gone today, but it's a shame we're not aloud to leave the castle. Just because that Sherlock Homes wanna-be, Bu Bu, won't let us," Zhen concluded. "Lu Bu," Xi corrected her. "Hmmm," Zhen looked back at Xi, confused at what he meant. "It's Lu Bu, not Bu Bu," Xi explained.

"Oh…well, okay. Lu Bu then."

"Lu Bu. Bu Bu. What's the difference?" Cao Pi cut in. "Personally, I think Bu Bu suits him better." Zhen Ji gave a little giggle and Yuan Xi pulled a tight face. "I think he deserves a bit more respect then that," he said. Zhen stopped giggling, sensing the bad vibe already. "I mean," Xi continued, "he is, after all, here to solve the case of my father's death."

"What case?" Pi asked. "He probably just ate some bad curry, that's all."

"IT WASN'T BAD CURRY!!" Xi answered back. "My mother made it and she makes the finest curry I've ever tasted!" Cao Pi smirked and rolled back his eyes. "It's true," Xi went on, "just ask Zhen." Zhen starred at the table. "Well," she began, "umm...I…I think, I should get food." Cao Pi grinned, "Yeah, I think I should leave you to eat. I'd be off." He and Zhen left Xi to sit there on his own, mumbling about his mother's cooking to himself.

Shouting could be heard across the hall way, though it couldn't be made out what was being said. Lu Bu now thought it would be best to move closer to hear what was going on but even then, all that he could make out was; "…idiot…doesn't go there…" and some muffles in between. "I know what to do…" another voice said. It was a bit harsher than the first, which sounded light and clear. Again, the first voice shouted something that sounded like, "hurry up" and then "before someone comes". Lu Bu suddenly felt a spark of curiosity and saw their room door left ajar. He crept to one side, to have a better look through the door way.

There was a tall, young looking lad, with a high ponytail. He carried a large box, which partially covered his face, soon he moved out of the picture. After, Lu Bu noticed another man with short, brownish hair and bells around his waist. He too came, picked up a box and moved out. After seeing the two men taking turns of coming to and fro, picking up boxes, Lu Bu got tired of waiting and decided to make his entrance.

The man with bells around his waist dropped the large box on the floor, upon seeing Lu Bu enter. In shock, his partner jumped around to have another good yell at him. "HEY!! CAREFUL WILL-," he stopped as soon as he saw the 7ft 2' man by the door way. "Oh…bugger!" is all that managed to escape his lips. "Sorry for the intrusion," began Lu Bu, "I hope I didn't startle you." There was silence for a moment or two, then finally, the man with bells spoke, "well, actually you did." In response, His companion sighed, "I'm sure he was aware of that." Confused, the man with bells turned his head towards him, "then why'd he ask?" the slim man huffed in annoyance, "I don't know. Trying to be polite, perhaps?" **(A/N: LOL! Lu Bu. And polite?)** Again there was a pause, till another comment came; "it wasn't really though, was it?" Before the man with the high ponytail could lose his top, Lu Bu intervened. "I just came in to see what was happening. I could hear shouting earlier and thought if everything was alright. Is it?"

"Yes, fine," they both answered in unison. Lu Bu smiled, "good. You wouldn't mind if I stayed, would you?" The two men looked at each other, a bit uncomfortable with idea but then after a while, agreed

"What's in those boxes, there?" Lu Bu asked, as he watched the two carry on with their work. "Nothing really," the lean man answered. "Yeah, it's only a bit of booze, is all," added his friend. The slim bloke quickly jabbed his elbow at his friends' ribs and gave a warning stare to silence him, then turned to tell Lu Bu, "We're only packing it away." Lu Bu gave a reassuring smile, "oh, of course. Tell me, what are your names?" As usual, it was the cheerful short hair man, who answered, "I'm Gan Ning and this here grumpy fish, is Ling Tong."

The day was coming to an end, by the time Lu Bu made his way back to his chamber. His head was spinning with all the drinking he did with Ling Tong and Gan Ning. All he wanted now was to rest. He tried convincing himself that he worked on the case today and so he deserved some sleep. _'Okay, so sure these guys didn't have a clue, who Yuan Shao actually was,'_ Lu Bu thought to himself, _'but they could have known something about his death. They were here when he died, after all.'_ Who was he kidding? After spending practically half the day with the pair, Lu Bu was most definitely positive, that they were the least in the know for anything.

From what Lu Bu gathered, the men were planning to spend their evening with their luck on cards and wine to keep them merry. Sun Jian, of course, feared that his daughter may want to join in and he often found it hard to refuse. So he thought it best, if she didn't find out in the first place. However, leaving this secret in the hands of Gan Ning and Ling Tong was a great mistake. Lu Bu laughed, _'why, they would have gone and told her, themselves.'_

Lu Bu felt his head hurt more and soon gave up on the idea of sleeping. It was no use. His mind kept telling him that he hadn't done enough. That there was no way he could rest. Not till he got one step closer in solving the case. So, with being drunk and half asleep, Lu Bu got up and staggered to the door. There was work to be done.

**A/N:** Well, how was that?? Yeah I know, I put too much of Lu Bu in this one but he IS the detective. Anyways, I seriously don't know how far I am going to go with this. I mean, I **LOVE** detective stories, but I suck at writing them (and I know it shows!!). Umm…that's it for now!! In the mean time, if you guys want you can try solving the case before Lu Bu does, then be my guest. BUT just don't ask if your guess was right…coz' I don't know myself!! LOL! **REMEMBER:** READ AND REVIEW!!


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